*Inspired by a recent writing challenge, I offer a blog post that's anything but sentimental or sappy. This one's for you, Charles G Hill of www.dustbury.com. You're right, this WAS fun to write. Quite cathartic actually. :)
During his recent bout with the flu, my Hubs became obsessed with the HGTV series, "House Hunters International." By watching the show, he travels from Bosnia to the Caribbean, all the while marveling at how much we paid for our house compared to what the same square footage would cost in Puerto Wherever. I, on the other hand, have developed a raging disdain for these idiots.
Dear International House Hunters,
If you want American style living, shop for a vacation home in, oh I don't know...America!?
If you've lived on a two-person sailboat for an extended period of time, be grateful for a home on solid land. Please stop whining about the authentic Mexican tile backsplash - nope, it's not granite like your mom's kitchen in Michigan.
You're concerned about the lack of privacy and sharing 'your pool' with others? Hello, it's a vacation condo.
The house is old and nary a stainless steel appliance in the kitchen...you ass, it's a 400 year old Italian villa!
Your over-indulged brats will be forced to share a room at your $500,000 timeshare that you only have access to for 6 weeks a year - child abuse, no doubt.
What I wouldn't give for the realtors to roll their eyes directly into the camera as these ignorant dorks complain about finding a good pizza place or free wi-fi...in the Black Forest. Then I want the realtor to punch them right in the necks and send their pampered asses back to the burbs.
Seriously, you people are ridiculous! Just stay in Cleveland and try to find a less obnoxious way to waste good money; don't embarrass the rest of us hard-working stiffs from the USA.
Love,
RMB
2 comments:
My daughter used to be glued to HGTV, until she actually got a house and then tried to maintain its, um, curb appeal. It's different from when you're just dreaming.
I have to laugh when the buyers say "We just LOVE this country, so we want to vacation/retire/whatever here", and then - like you said - complain about what makes that country rich in its culture, history, and appeal. DUH!!! Love, Jen
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