Thursday, July 24, 2014

Throwback Thursday, My Very First Miracle

Twenty eight years ago yesterday, a baby girl was born. My very first miracle. To prevent her from getting much bigger than the 6 pounds that the doctor predicted, my labor was induced on my due date, July 23, 1986.

By 2:15 that afternoon, an almost 8 pound baby was born; screaming to the world that she was VERY inconvenienced by this event, squeaking like a toy with every cry. I felt like Superwoman after delivering this angel and predicted that she would be a bigger, better version of me - which she TOTALLY is. I was so thankful for the support of my husband...we were an awesome birthing team.

I bet he misses all that hair and I'd love to weigh this much again.
So much has happened in the 28 years since this proudest of days. We didn't remain the great team we were that day, it just wasn't meant to be. To be honest, through the years, I've felt more like enemies than anything else but things have changed. There's no longer room for animosity, there comes a time when making the days count is more important than remaining a prisoner of old grudges. Our little baby girl is all grown up and she unwittingly created a simple moment between us again...even if it was for the sole purpose of playing a joke on her and it felt great!

Our daughter is loud and loving, gorgeous and fearless. She is bold and loyal. She is true to her friends, with an incredible mastery of forgiveness. (Her Dad and I are both lucky in that regard!) But there is a weakness...OSTRICHES! Our daughter is afraid of ostriches and her dramatic style is half the fun of tormenting her. One time I was at the zoo with her and an ostrich literally chased her around the fenced enclosure, as if it smelled her fear. Granted, the bird was on one side of the fence and she was safely on the other, but the sight of her running down the concrete zoo pathway (screaming like a maniac) with an ostrich in full stride behind her was HYSTERICALLY priceless.

Every year on July 23rd at precisely 2:15 I call my daughter to tell her Happy Birth Moment! I made that call yesterday and after we got off the phone, I had a brilliant idea. I found a picture of an ostrich (thanks to Creative Commons and photographer Donar Reiskoffer) and it looked like the bird was yelling...perfect! I copied the image into a text message and told her that Olivia (the Ostrich) says "Happy Birthday Rachel, I love you!" I was already giggling as I pushed send and then it hit me...I'll tell everyone to send her the same text and she'll KILL ME! LOL

Happy Birthday Rachel, I love you!

As I scanned my contacts list for co-conspirators, I came across her Dad's number. I sent him the photo and asked him to text it to her with the message. He's always been the parent to play jokes on the kids but I wasn't sure if he'd play along with me. I was pleasantly surprised when he agreed to do it and then he sent me a screen shot of her exasperated reply. She admonished him with a simple DARRELL but she really got me with ROSE MARIE B!!!! as about a dozen texts with Olivia's birthday wishes blew up her phone.

It was a nice moment. We were teasing our daughter together, just like parents should do. We put aside all the shit that we've been through to enjoy this precious child, this amazing young woman that we brought into the world. She is the best of both of us and we're better humans because of her.

I sent him a text thanking him for being such a great partner on the day she was born and that it was one of my best days ever. He texted back "Mine too!!" and I exhaled; releasing 26 years of anger and remorse. It doesn't change anything that happened in the past, I just finally found the strength to loosen my stranglehold on the regret. I forgave us both and thanked the universe because we both lived long enough to share this silly game on a Wednesday afternoon. I'm so glad I took the chance.

She's plotting revenge at this very moment and I can't wait to see what she comes up with.

Love ya, mean it,


  1. I hope you know how much hope this gives me. And what a good laugh!! So funny! : )) I admire you so much. It may sound like a simple thing to outsiders or to people who haven't experienced divorce, but I know how brave and calm that was of you. It gives me something to strive for. Thank you, and HAPPY BIRTHDAY RACHEL!! Tell her I don't mind ostriches but am am equally terrified of frogs.

  2. Thank you for your love and support, Marie. It was such an ornery moment with a grace from above that I never knew I was capable of. I know you understand and I know, you'll find your opportunity and give this same gift to yourself one day. I admire you too! :)

  3. I had a giggle reading this, I have never experienced divorce and hope I never do, I remember when my precious daughter Kathy-Lee was born it was the most overpowering feeling being a mum for the first time to such an angel who cried so much


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