Certain people, places, and things are so frustrating to me! Why do I care? Because I do. With this attitude, maybe I'm the one who needs a timeout chair. Here's the timeout chair I envision for such offenders, including myself.
|"A Broken Chair" by Jinx!, Licensed Under Share Alike, Creative Commons|
10. May Weather In Oklahoma - Sometimes we have tornadoes. Other times we switch from the air conditioner to the heater and back again - in the same day. This year, we have unprecedented rainfall totals; delightful for the drought stricken areas of our state (Hallelujah!), dreadful for those of us who just need some dang sunshine (I'm gloomy.)
FYI, the average May rainfall at the Oklahoma Mesonet station in Norman, Oklahoma is 4.10 inches; last year they only had 0.96 inches for the whole month. Look at this rainfall map; equally impressive and wacko and we still have 10 days left in May! Big thanks to Oklahoma Mesonet for allowing me to share this image and all the hard work they put into collecting this data. In August, when it's 100 degrees and all my grass has turned an ashy shade of gray, I'll miss this rain (I really am grateful for it) but for now, May weather - go sit in the timeout chair.
|From the tip of the Panhandle to the southwestern-most cypress bayous - everybody got a good drink this May!|
9. Kanye West - On the latest awards show, your language was 'bleeped' so much, home viewers couldn't hear MOST of your song. For this and so many other reasons, go sit in the timeout chair and I'll let you know when you can get up, if ever.
8. Texting While Driving - AT&T has been talking about this since 2010. Why are people still doing this? Your text can wait, don't be stupid. Don't Text While Driving, stop it!
7. Miley Cyrus - Your voice is beautiful and talented, the way you act is neither. I'd like for you to go sit in the timeout chair until you're 40 years old and then be appropriately horrified by your most recent stunts.
6. Kale - I know you're good for me but dude, you literally stink. Don't sit in the timeout chair (you'll just stink it up) just go away and send another vegetable to take your place on the menu. It's nothing personal.
|"Kale-Bundle" by Evan-Amos - Licensed under CC0 via Wikimedia Commons|
5. Ugly Old Lady Shoes -I'm 52 years old and I need 'good' shoes to take care of my aging feet. I want cute and stylish shoes but I can no longer wear the cheap shoes of my youth. My options seem trapped somewhere between Britney Spears and Betty White when I shop for shoes. Ugly Old Lady Shoes...go sit in the timeout chair until you get cuter and cheaper!
4. Folks Who Don't Know How To Merge Onto A Highway - I'll need a driver's ed certificate before you can get out of the timeout chair.
3. Overlings Who Are Deaf To Underlings - Sometimes underlings have great ideas; no one is so important that they can't entertain the opinions of those 'lesser' than them in some way. Go sit in the timeout chair until you get a clue about respect.
2. Prejudice - By definition this is a preconceived opinion that is not based on reason or actual experience. Prejudice against another race, against law enforcement, against fat people, against old people, against young people, against those of another religion - all of you go sit in the timeout chair until you make amends and educate yourselves about each other. Now!
And the number 1 people, place or thing that needs to go to the timeout chair is...
1. Action Movies Made Primarily With CGI - aliens, zombies, time travelers, blowing up the White House, earthquakes, tidal waves, Tom Cruise rescuing the planet with his bare hands - all of you go to the timeout chair! ONLY come back as movies that highlight the wonderful things about real-life humans and their connections to each other. I'd like a good story and a plot that allows me to enjoy my popcorn and white cherry icy drink.
Thanks for listening today. What items would make your Top 10 Timeout Chair List? Leave a comment below, I'd love to hear your nominees.
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Rose Marie B, Keeper of the Virtual Timeout Chair